pretty uncomplicated

My relationship with my mother is like that of two people who have lived in the same neighborhood and known each other all their lives but never really talked about anything meaningful, never really tried to undestand one another. Although I do understand a great deal more about her than she does me.
What she doesn't seem to realize, or at least she doesn't care to acknowledge is that she has pretty much lived her entire life dependant upon her parents. She married right out of high school and worked in her father's business as a real estate appraiser, she supported her family, I'll give her that, but she never really tried to do anything on her own. She dropped out in her first semester in college because she got pregnant, she told me once that after high school she wanted to live on her own a few years before she was married, but even if she hadn't married my father that probably wouldn't have happened, there was always Dan, now my stepfather, I wonder what would have happened had she married him instead but I guess it doesn't matter now. She and my father owned their own business for awhile but there is no need to guess who she ran to when she needed anything, then after she left my father it was back to appraising and later the restaurant. Both jobs she was unhappy with and complained about constantly but never would she consider doing something else, even when her father gave the business to his sister, only nine years my mothers senior, who she hated working with, she wouldn't leave. My mother is a good appraiser and any other company would be happy to have her but no, she was afraid her aunt would never speak to her again, although she was probably more afraid of having to be on her own.
All my life she has told me that I will never be able to live in the "real world" but I wonder how she can make that judgement, considering that she has never expeienced the real world for herself. Complaining is her favorite past-time, she complains about her work though she will never quit, her children, her husband that she will never leave, her parents whose house she is living in. I don't know how many times I've told her to just leave, we can make it on our own. I've even offered to help her with rent and food and such, a fact which she conveniently forgets every time the subject comes up, it's so much easier to be a martyr. Perhaps her sheltered life is the reason why she is never supportive of me, she truly doesn't understand how terrified I am and I don't think there is any way to make her see. She just expects me to come back, like my brothers did, like she did and my father did. I will never be able to convince her that for me there is no going back, just like it was for my grandparents, they worked all their lives, for them going back was never an option, and what was it all for, so they could support their children and grandchildren in their old age? My mother has taught me how to take care of myself by showing me what I might become if I ever believe for one moment that I could come back, her selfishness and childish cruelty has saved me from wasting my life and ending up like her. She doesn't understand that I need her, I need to save money and I need her support. I am not obligated by any law to pay her anything, her selfish attempts to teach me responsibility are crippling me, they are preventing me from ever having the means to become independent.
I don't think my mother ever had any dreams or ambitions for me, or if she did she never shared any of them with me. It's like she has no hope for me, no care regarding my feelings or career or happiness. She never expressed any enthusiasm about my decisions for my future, the only thing she expects from me is failure. Children strive for the approval of their parents, we want more than anything for them to be proud of us. I wake up each morning and go to sleep each night feeling like my mother doesn't love me.