Aegrecit Mendendo

Rene'e told me today that she is now officially cured of her depression, she has regained normality. But what is normality anyway, by my definition Rene'e has always been normal, just another sheep. I am discovering, however, that the more time I spend with the 'normal' Rene'e the less I like her. I mean she annoyed me when she was all depressed an such but at least then it felt like there was some hope for her becoming a decent human being, now she is just as superficial as everyone else. Maybe I'm just jealous that she no longer needs me for anything, but I didn't ask for this, I care about her, I think I always will. I want to distance myself from her but...I just have so few friends...so little companionship, I get really lonely sometimes. Rene'e is the closest thing to a friend I have nearby. I miss Allison and Tawny, I know they have lives and I guess I envy them a little for that, mostly I just miss being around them, I always felt so comfortable with them. Rene'e was my friend because she needed me, now that she supposedly doesn't where does that leave me, feeling doubtful and used. It leaves me to find another person to take into my heart, Rene'e is just easy internet access and some light superficial entertainment, an inconstant muse and ever inriuging test subject, as she has always been.