good intentions and past colored glasses

Funny, my intention was to write about me, but I ended up writing about everyone else. Griping about everyone else. It seems I am defined by my experiences, my choices and the choices of those around me. The words crazy, insane, stupid, mean and funny. Those are the words people use to describe me. Not the words I would use to desribe myself. But what does it matter, how I see myself? No one else can see me through my eyes, just as I cannot see others through their own eyes. As much as I understand, I do not understand that. Understanding humanity is knowing that you will always be suprised. I can read the meaning of an action after it has been performed, but I will never be able to say, for sure, what a person will do. I can guess, judging by past perfomance, and it will seem like I know their mind, but I can't read minds, I can't tell the future.

Human beings experience the present through the past, it acts like a filter through which we see. That is what makes human behavior so predictable, once you know their past and how they react to situations you can accurately predict how they will react to similar situations. Even with unpredictable people there is a moment where they will eveluate the situation and how they've reacted to it before and consiously decide to act differently. So, in expecting the unexpected you are, to a certain degree, prepared for it.

I suppose I couldn't talk about myself without talking about the people around me, it's like explaining the reason behind my actions, the actions I react to. If you understand someone's past you understand how they experience the present.
I think that's the first time I've actually come to any conclusion from a train of thought, normally I just write in circles, elaborating on one idea or another, even come up with more ideas. I think I'll come back and read over what I've written more often. Look at it from a different perspective.