not alone

don't think I'm crazy if I leave the TV on
just to say you're there, watching some old movie
I'll tell myself you went out for a walk
tell myself you stepped out for some air
and you'll come back when it starts to get dark
don't blame me if I tell myself
you're just in the other room
just brushing your teeth
getting something to eat
don't mind me if I won't look
when you speak
and when my eyes are tightly shut
you will climb into bed next to me
I will feel you wrap your arms around me
I will hear you whisper goodnight to me
and when I can feel your breath on the back of my neck
feel your hand lying next to my breast
when I can feel your chest rise against my back
I will turn around slowly,
without waking
and I will open my eyes
and you will be there
and I will wake up alone again