a mixed rant

I got the strangest sensation of deja vu earlier, I was talking to renee and the conversation seemed a little too familiar. The thing is, it was a conversation that I had thought of before, one that I had been planning to say if the oppurtunity ever presented itself. So now I can't help but wonder, is it deja vu, or have I just repeated these conversations in my head so many times that everything is like a play that I've laid out in my mind. I've always been able to bring a conversation to a point or an amusing little anecdote I've been itching to say, I'm a good enough actor to make it seem spontaneous and I can change any little words that seem wrong in the moment and true, they don't always end up like I'd hoped but the overall effect is still the same. Is my life some product of my own imaginations or am I just lucky? Am I truly manipulating the circumstances or is it all ruled by chance?

Part of the Problem
Cd players are fast becoming a thing of the past, almost everyone has an ipod nowadays. I can't afford one so, naturally, I'm religiously opposed to them. My cd player plays mp3 cds but I honestly have no earthly idea how many cds it would take to burn my entire music collection, and who can afford AA batteries anyway? I had to scrap the ones from my remote just to get my cd player to tell me my batteries were low. Everything seems to be getting smaller, cassette players were too bulky and you wouldn't be caught dead today carrying around a diskman or a regular ipod, now that they have a mini version. Even batteries are getting smaller. What is with mankind's need to make things more convenient? Nothing is ever truly convenient, convenience store prices are anything but and it seems that the smaller things get the larger the price tag, I remember how long I had to save up to get my cd player and now it's all but obsolete. Is change our salvation or our curse? Our economy is racing to keep up with our technology and never quite making it. I wonder what will become obsolete next, VCR's have become an endangered species, Laptops have all of the capabilities of a home PC, floppy disks, VHS, Cassette tapes, all of these things no longer have any place in a world of jump drives and dvds. And the people are all struggling to keep abreast with the latest developments in and already overflowing catalog of new and improved gadgets. We discard words and ideas as quickly as we do our latest toys. Lifestyles are thrown away, values reprogrammed with every new generation, society's norms readjusted to fit popular culture, I wonder, when will life altogether become obsolete? Already we've given up human relationships for those we've formed with beloved television characters, and why go out when anyone can meet their soulmate over the internet? Surely becoming an actor will secure me a place in the hearts of the masses, and may even make me into a contributing member of society, but is being a contributing member of society really more important that being a contributing member of humanity?