the slow and steady progression

the slow and steady progression of my train of thought has brought me, though rather roundabout, to the conclusion that, drumroll please, I am not dead. No, I am not dead, but just barely alive.
It took so long to come to this
had I always known?
and does it show?
The truth, it seems, is hiding from me, the voices in my mind scream to be let free, and around every corner there is an adventure just waiting for me.
Say yes to life
the trees scream.
oh no, they are talking to me
It always happens just like this in my nightmares, in my wildest dreams.